deercountry inbox.

[measuringdicks]

welcome to the trench chapter of interdimensional hostage bullshit anonymous! unfortunately no one can come to the phone right now because we’re being fucked over by the multiverse again, so leave a message after the beep. we’ll get back to you if we’re still here.

video | voice | text | action

gif from stanleybarbur.

Comments

tw internalized homophobia

[measuringdicks]

For you. I'm not looking away from the screen for anything.

[False, Eddie can catch his attention more than a movie can. Even a comedy he adores like Ghostbusters or Gremlins.

Okay. So—it's happened once before, on Richie's side, and a lot of times on Eddie's side. Richie wonders then how he might feel, if Eddie suddenly disappeared and then came back with no memory, acting strangely and in a hostile way. He'd—well, he'd assume pretty much the same thing Eddie did, actually: that maybe he'd been found out and now he'd lose his best friend for it. And then this last bit, about Richie not even intending to tell Eddie the last time he'd come out.

He huffs out a tired breath.]

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't—I think you're the first person I came out to properly? Here and back on superhero world, I never got to just say it. People either found out because of some stupid memory-sharing bullshit or just because I was too obvious. [Yeah, he can see why this past version of himself would be really upset. Richie has been there, been in the position where he can't do anything but watch in horror, as his dirty little secret gets dragged out into the light. He hunches in on himself, looks down at Eddie's hand again, and squeezes it, as if trying to draw a bit of comfort from Eddie's nearness. It works, and he relaxes.]

You are brave. [said quietly.] I can't imagine an Eddie Kaspbrak who's not brave. It's just that, yeah, you're right, it's fucking scary, especially if the sentient town or demon clown or what-the-fuck-ever has a history of digging your shit up and shoving it in your face.

[There's a silence. Then Richie shakes his head.]

No, never. God, never. [Because then Richie had been too terrified of scaring him off, of ruining their friendship, and if there's anything that Richie does not think he'll be able to handle, it's losing Eddie because he couldn't keep a fucking lid on his feelings.] It was the eighties, we lived in Derry, Bowers was on our asses every day—I didn't tell anyone, I didn't tell him, you, him. I couldn't. I was scared shitless about telling anyone.

[Especially about telling Eddie, because he had worried his other secret would come out too: the initials on the kissing bridge, R+E carved forever into the wood, permanent and almost defiant.]