richie "trashmouth" tozier (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
measuringdicks) wrote2020-09-07 02:32 am
measuringdicks) wrote2020-09-07 02:32 am
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deercountry inbox.
welcome to the trench chapter of interdimensional hostage bullshit anonymous! unfortunately no one can come to the phone right now because we’re being fucked over by the multiverse again, so leave a message after the beep. we’ll get back to you if we’re still here.
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cw: murder of children/friends.
I knew she'd be so pissed if she knew. She never wanted to leave either.
(He doesn't even want to think about the possibility of her going home. She didn't have too many happy ending options for her back home any more than Eddie himself did.
He was just - so grateful Richie understood. He was glad that he wasn't afraid to lose Richie anymore to the universe or else...He would have no idea what he'd do if he still felt Richie was going to vanish. He'd probably become an absolute nutcase. Instead, Richie winds up feeling more secure to Eddie than anything else possibly could. It's surreal being comforted with soft kissing, sincere gestures, and he feels loved. By Richie. By Chloe.)
It does. I'm really lucky to have ever been loved by you and her. (Totally different loves, but he doubted he had to explain that to Richie. Of all people, Richie knew what it was like to have different shades of soul mates and Chloe had been a soul-sister for Eddie.)
There was this thing that happened here forever ago. Another version of you was here and Chloe, obviously. But there were these strings that connected you to all the most important people in your life and were colored depending on what kind of relationship you had. The string I had for you was bright red and I was stupid and didn't realize what that meant back then. And the string I had to her was gold. And I just remember feeling so fucking - blessed.
(He wiggles his fingers, looking at them. Even though the strings had faded by now, he still felt he could see them sometimes. He takes the spoon from Richie, contemplating the offer. Some part of him didn't want to talk about it at all, but some part of him-.)
I don't know. It's- both maybe? (He peels the lid off of the ice cream and immediately digs in. It makes him think about how often Chloe and him would bring each other food for comfort and there are a few more tears. He sniffs.)
I dunno if I ever told you but I killed her once. Like real badly. Way back in our first October here. And then like a year later, she went crazy and killed me back. It sounds fucked up out of context. But that was always why both of us knew how dark of a place this town could throw you. That's the weirdest thing to think of right now probably but I dunno. We just went through so much shit together.
(He looks at Richie, sucking on the spoon before grabbing another scoop.)
I'm sorry. I know you don't like hearing about me dying. (He adds softly, pressing in closer against Richie, giving him a cold kiss on the corner of his mouth.) Do you want a bite?
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The murder thing does give him pause, and when Eddie mentions having gotten killed once, Richie bristles instinctively. Yeah, he hates hearing about Eddie dying. It makes him wonder what the hell was he doing at the time, or if he just—wasn't there. He can't really blame Chloe for it, because he knows by now how the town's shit can dig into someone's brain and push them into things they ordinarily wouldn't do, but. Still. It's always upsetting, knowing Eddie's died before, knowing his apparent fate in the future.
He relaxes when Eddie kisses him. Just holds Eddie a little bit tighter.]
What's October without a little bloodshed, huh. [The morbid joke falls flat, his voice too heavy for the light tone he tries to deliver it with. He sighs, nods.] Yeah, pass me the spoon, I didn't bring an extra one.
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(And Eddie was grateful to hear it. He believed it himself, but hearing it come from someone else felt far more profound. Plus, it felt the same way as with the Losers. Only Eddie had a more long-lasting relationship with Chloe than he had with some of the Losers. He had barely known some of them, only just met them. Not that it took away from their cosmic importance to him, but there sure weren't the same amount of memories. There wasn't the same depth.
When Richie tightens up, Eddie's quick to kiss Richie a few times on the cheek, the jaw, just as a soft, quiet way of telling him it was okay.)
I'm safe now. (He murmurs the words to Richie- knowing Richie knew, understood that, but he still just didn't want him...Hurting. At least Eddie tried sincerely hard to NOT be murdered.
He gladly gives the spoon over, grinning a bit.)
My momma would be so mad, you know. (He says this almost proudly.)
About us. I mean really pissed. Me sharing a spoon with my boyfriend that I kiss who is also Richie Tozier. (He laughs. It's a strange, random topic change but at the same time...It felt nice to distract away from the agony in his chest with something absurd and easy.)
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But the kisses melt the walls he's thrown up around himself, and he shifts around to peck a kiss to Eddie's hairline before he scoops up a spoonful of ice cream and jams it into his mouth.]
Whish bith? [No, wait, hold on, give him a moment to actually swallow it.] Which bit? Like, the spoon-sharing, the boyfriend, the kissing, or the fact that it's me? Because I think she'd probably fucking explode from just one, I dunno what would happen if you combined all those things into one sentence and said it directly to her.
[She would probably pass away on the spot.]
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(Richie had never made him feel delicate. He never thought Richie doubted his capability. There was a huge difference between Richie wanting to keep him safe versus how his mom tried to keep him "safe.")
I get it. I don't like you getting hurt either. Obviously. (He makes a rocky gesture with his prosthetic hand as if to silently point out his eventual life-sacrifice for Richie in their future(s).)
All the above. She always had a fit about me hanging out with you in particular and your trashy mouth. (Ironically he was pretty sure his mom's terror of Richie had only urged Eddie to be more interested. Kids always wanted what they were told they couldn't have. Eddie's want just went a lot deeper than spite.)
tw discussion of abusive parent, allusion to possible homophobia from parent
Well, good, fuck her. [A pause.] And shockingly, I don't mean that in an "I fucked your mom" way. [He still does those kinds of jokes, just not as much around Eddie anymore.] I mean that you're great and you're brave, and she never saw that. And maybe that's just a parent thing, sure, but mine were...
[He waves a hand.]
Mom had fits over me breaking my glasses, but never over hanging out with you. I think she liked you. [Although he imagines Maggie would've liked it far less, if she knew the true depth of feeling between Richie and Eddie. At the very least she wouldn't understand it. At worst—Richie hears horror stories about worst.] Mrs. K was just...she dragged you off and stuck you in the house after Neibolt, from what I remember, and I couldn't see you for a while. It was the absolute shittiest part of that summer. I know it isn't the same for you, 'cause of the whole timeline thing, but you oughta know, it was worse for me than going up against the clown the first time. You were hurt, and we were all pissed at each other, and I couldn't come hang out with you and believe me I tried, it was just fucked all around.
[He pauses.]
Sorry.
Re: tw discussion of abusive parent, allusion to possible homophobia from parent
(He did appreciate Richie cutting back on that shit around him. He had noticed it and never really knew how to actually thank him for it.)
Not sure if it's a typical parent thing. (Derry parent, maybe, but Eddie's met enough decent adults beyond Derry at this point that he's pretty sure Derry was just the fucking Pits.)
Your mom was a bitch but like a typical bitch. (She wasn't...abusive. Though Eddie firmly believed that she neglected the hell out of Richie but he never knew how to talk about that either. He didn't have the greatest feelings towards Maggie Tozier either. Despite that, he is glad to hear that the woman apparently liked him.)
At least that's one of our moms. (Eddie wishes Moira had been around. She was the only real mother-like figure he would have wanted Richie to meet.
It was still surreal sometimes hearing about Richie's world. Not just because of the differences, but because they had lived two different lives. Two different memories.)
I would have never been pissed at you over that whole thing. I know me from your timeline is kind of a prick but I don't think he woulda been mad at you for real.
(Or if he did it wouldn't make any sense why. They were all in that shitty situation together. Granted, it didn't make much sense that Bill would have ever punched Richie either. There were just some stuff from Richie's timeline that never would make sense to Eddie. Things that just didn't sound like the people he knew from his own world.)
I believe you. I know you did. I mean - both from your timeline and mine. Mine was...Different, yeah. Bowers broke my arm (Which Richie knew by now, but still-) And I was taken to the hospital right away. Ambulance and everything. And when I was doped up on morphine and shit, I had this really hazy, weird dream where I saw you guys...You were talking to my mom and she was lying to you all. Telling you I never wanted to see you again and wanted nothing to do with you. But it wasn't just a dream. It was like - that's actually what happened. I don't know how I know, but it was, because when my momma came to visit me after, I told her it was wrong that she did that. She didn't know how I knew, but I did, and it freaked her out. I told her she wasn't allowed to keep me from you guys anymore, and that she wasn't going to turn you away again, that she'd let you see me. I threatened her.
(Eddie gets a dark, thoughtful look on his face, not looking quite at Richie.)
I made a deal with her. I told her I'd play along and not ask about the fake medication and why she's been doing what she's been doing. I told her I'd do it if she let me see you guys whenever I wanted. I'd stay sick, but only if I could have you. She had no real choice but to say yes. I let her know I knew I wasn't sick and that she had been lying to me. I let her know I knew that was wrong.
(And there was something else - something more threatening naturally in that moment but Eddie wasn't sure how to explain that part. If Chloe were still here, she'd have better words for it. He gives a small shrug.)
It was terrible. But you guys came soon after like I knew you would, and you all signed my cast. Then not long after we were going after Pennywise. And I knew my mom couldn't keep any of you away. Especially you. So. It's okay. I know you'd never let anything get between us if you could help it.
(He looks at Richie again, frowning.)
What? No. Don't apologize. That shit was complicated. I mean I wasn't there for it in your world but - I don't...I know it wasn't your choice.