deercountry inbox.

[measuringdicks]

welcome to the trench chapter of interdimensional hostage bullshit anonymous! unfortunately no one can come to the phone right now because we’re being fucked over by the multiverse again, so leave a message after the beep. we’ll get back to you if we’re still here.

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Comments

tw is it kinkshaming if he says it with love

[measuringdicks]

baby you know I love you and I would let you do anything for your tests
but also
wow
kinky
spitting on your boyfriend gets you going ok got it sure

1/2

[klussy]

(He doesn't even respond right away but you can feel his reaction to this anyway.)

absolutely not (cw: eye trauma but not really)

[klussy]

i'm going to spit into your mouth and there will be nothing kinky about it
you'll gag
and choke

and i'll watch
then spit on you again

in the eyes
both of them

[measuringdicks]

oooooooh Dr. Kaspbrak ooooooooh tell me more what are you WEARING

but seriously tho
sure go ahead I'm cool with it
but also what's this test for???

[klussy]

kaspbrak???

(Guess who still hasn't remembered his own last name? Whoops.)

i'm in a lab coat.

(Somehow that joke went over his head.)

dont SAY ANYTHING
but i was brushing my teeth and got some drool on my hand and it felt really weird
not a bad kind of weird
it felt sort of like a local anaesthetic?
it got tingly and numb

i'm curious if it's my body or my spit





and we havent exactly made out yet while being here so
not that im saying the experiment HAS to be making out
i'm just saying

i can lick your hand or something and see what happens


it should be fine

tw mention of sonia

[measuringdicks]

it’s technically your last name but your mom’s a major bitch, idk if you remember that yet, so
Dr. Price? Dr. Tozier?? Dr. Shirogane???

ooh lab coats
sexy

I’m all for making out for scientific purposes tbh but yeah sure okay I GUESS I can let you lick my hand
see if it goes numb
actually numbing spit could be pretty useful medicine-wise you’d just have to like lick your hand and slap somebody but like
what are the limits first
how long would it take to wear off
is it fine for like huge surgical shit or would you still need the good drugs for that

Re: tw mention of sonia

[klussy]

really?
oh
ive just been telling people I'm eddie tozier
it sounded right?

(Is it not.)

dr. price sounds pretty cool too though

it's not sexy it's sterile.

that would suck though FOR making out. you'd walk away feeling like you just had to sit at the dentists for an hour

all the questions i wanna know the answers to
i guess a more reasonable thing would be to just drool in a vial and test it that way
but

(Then he wouldn't have the excuse to be obnoxious and lick his boyfriend? Infinitely lamer way to test things.)

[measuringdicks]

oh.
you know
I like the sound of that
Dr. Eddie Tozier
rolls off the tongue real well don't you think

ok tell me you still remember what a medical kink is

it's a risk I'm willing to take

I mean you could do both
spit in a vial for testing purposes re: bigger and more serious wounds and maybe seeing if it loses its potency over time
lick me for the preliminary tests

[klussy]

i think so too :)

(Thing is he's being so genuine and doesn't even realize it.)

tragically i could never forget what a medical kink is
i think medical kinks are sexier for people who arent in the actual medical field
youd be like "am i hot, doctor"
and id be like "you have a fever of 101.2. we need to get you hydrated"

thats an honorabe sacrifice thank you richie
glad to know this wont get in the way of rolling around with you

i'll do both. both sounds good. scientific method.