maskormenace ic contact.

[measuringdicks]

welcome to the derry chapter of the sad shits who can't find a good fuck club! unfortunately no one can come to the phone right now because we're trying to get laid, but leave a message after the beep and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. thanks.

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[measuringdicks]

[Richie doesn't think she said that, but he's not going to call Eddie out about it.]

That's true. I got something from your mom, after all. [Nudgenudge winkwink.] Hey, did Bev ever tell you what you'd look like in the future? All she told me was I'd grow into my looks, and, [here he snorts out a laugh,] that was some bullshit.

[Forty-year-old Richie Tozier looks sketchy as fuck with his fivehead, in thirteen-year-old Richie's humble opinion.]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Bev never did tell us what the fuck that meant. 

[He shook his head.]  Nah.  She didn't tell me and I didn't ask 

[He was just glad to know he was still around as an adult, meaning none of his worst health fears came true.  He glances over at Richie.] 

Bev's vision means we'll be okay right now, right?  She saw us all old and together.   So we'll be okay and get home, even if bad stuff happens.

[measuringdicks]

I bet you'd still look cute even at forty. People're gonna look at you and they're not gonna be able to stop themselves from pinching your cheeks, you'd be just that adorable.

[And he mimes pinching Eddie's cheek.]

Yeah. We can make fun of Stan for finally looking like the eighty-year-old we always knew he was, deep down. [And Stan will make fun of Richie for a number of things, like his balding hair and his ridiculous forehead.] Still, it's not a sure thing, y'know?

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[Eddie rolls his eyes.] Stop it. I won't be small and cute to old ladies anymore. I'll be taller and probably have grey hair and wrinkles from worrying about you losers not taking care of all your old guy health problems.

[Because in mind, they'd still be friends]

Bev just said he'd be taller. He'll be the oldest acting one of us and look the youngest. [He walked up the stairs and into his bedroom.] Do you think the deadlights were fucking with her?

[measuringdicks]

You'd have old guy health problems too. Everybody gets them. I never got why my dad hated climbing ladders until I could shift into his age and threw my back out just bending down.

[Ugh. Old guy bodies are terrible and awful, especially if your posture has been shit for years.]

You're right. He'll look twenty and act eighty, with our luck. Asshole. [There's a pause, during which Richie mulls this over. Then he shrugs.] Maybe. It was trying to scare her. But if it was just It trying to fuck with her, you'd think she got worse shit than older versions of us.

[Little does he know.]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Yeah, I'd probably have the most problems. [Why would the future be different?  But I'd take care of my problems.  You guys aren't used to being sick.   You'd need me to remind you about pills and doctors and all that shit.  I bet you didn't even get an x-ray of your back.

Stan's luck will suck too.  He'll need us to buy him booze.  Maybe even to sneak him into the good movies. We should try that, next time you want to look old.

[He looks away for a moment.]  Do you think she would have told us if she saw something bad?  Like really bad?

[measuringdicks]

No, why would I? I can just shift back, problem solved, everybody’s happy especially me.

[He snorts out a laugh.] Poor fucking Stanley the Manly, he probably gets carded in the future just because he looks so young. [Richie hms in answer.] Sure! I’ll be your Uncle Rich, treating my adorable little nephew [and he reaches out to ruffle Eddie’s hair] to a little birthday surprise. If they don’t call the cops on me.

[It would be so awkward if they did.]

I don’t know. I hope so, but she was lying through her teeth when she told me I grew into my looks, so. Maybe she’s keeping some shit back, but if it was serious, I think she would’ve said something.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Maybe it's something they can fix now so it won't hurt when you're forty for real.  You should get your old body checked for lots of stuff.  If I could get old, I'd get checked for cancer, heart disease, all kinds of old people shit.

[Eddie runs his hands through his hair when Richie's done, fixing it.]  So what if they call the cops?  All you gotta do is go around the nearest corner and turn back to a kid.  The cops will be looking for an old dude; they'll never find you.

[He shrugs.]  Maybe she meant it literally.  Your grew and that made you look however you look.  [He thinks for a minute.] Yeah, she would have warned us.

[measuringdicks]

I don't try to stay old that long, why would I get checked for all that shit?

[He makes a face.] Ugh, yeah, she would, wouldn't she. [Then he sighs.] How long do you think it'll be till whatever she saw comes true? Twenty-seven years, maybe less?

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Cause you're gonna be forty for real some day.  If you get checked for everything, you can prevent it and be like the healthiest guy in the world. 

Twenty-seven years, probably.  The deadlights were a part of It and twenty-seven was like his magic number. So we'll all be friends for twenty-seven years.  And that means we'll be friends forever, 'cause old people don't make new friends.  [Or his mother didn't.]