maskormenace ic contact.

[measuringdicks]

welcome to the derry chapter of the sad shits who can't find a good fuck club! unfortunately no one can come to the phone right now because we're trying to get laid, but leave a message after the beep and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. thanks.

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Comments

[atypically]

Seriously, these people are talking about it like it's totally normal so they gotta be fucked, right?


Yeah, seriously. So not cool.

[measuringdicks]

apparently for some of them it's normal where they're from??

which is so many kinds of fucked up that I don't know where to start

I talked with this lady and she said "apocalypse experts" which is

what the fuck

why

[atypically]

Yeah, I'm getting that and seriously, this place has just got to be a fucked up fever dream or something. Nothing makes fucking sense.

WHY DO THEY NEED APOCALYPSE EXPERTS?

[measuringdicks]

if this is a fever dream then one of us is a hallucination and honestly

I feel way too fucking real to be the hallucination here

I DON'T KNOW

I started looking through the network again and went deeper this time and they have

fucking

zombie apocalypse experts

SPECIFICALLY

[atypically]

WHAT is this fucking place? Seriously, what the FUCK?

[measuringdicks]

I don't KNOW

everyone's so fucking calm about this why the FUCK is everyone so CALM

[atypically]

That's the fucking part that gets me the most. Why the fuck is everyone so CALM? HOW the fuck is everyone so calm?

[measuringdicks]

maybe they're all smoking the really good weed

fuck if I know how everyone's so calm

maybe it's the Experience

when you've lost your apocalypse virginity once before it's hard to be shocked when another one tries to fuck you

[atypically]

I really hope it's not the experience because that would mean that this isn't going to be a one-off.

[measuringdicks]

I meant like

for the ones who came from apocalypses already

they've been fucked up the ass once before they're good to go again

but also apparently there was another world before this one that had imports and that one ended like years ago so hey guess this one's not totally a one-off

[atypically]

...great. God, I fucking hate it here.

[measuringdicks]

it totally fucking sucks

at least it's not Derry but

still fucking sucks