maskormenace ic contact.

[measuringdicks]

welcome to the derry chapter of the sad shits who can't find a good fuck club! unfortunately no one can come to the phone right now because we're trying to get laid, but leave a message after the beep and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. thanks.

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Comments

[measuringdicks]

Your mom's real kinky, what can I say.

[Richie Tozier, running for Most Pathetic of 1989/2020, everybody. Watch as all his internal fire alarms go off because his best friend is applying ointment and band-aids to his hands, and therefore touching his hands.

He shakes his head.]

No, no, and yeah, all the time, the glasses are shockingly not just there for show. [Speaking of glasses, he pulls his hands away as soon as Eddie's done and pushes his glasses up his nose.] I'm fine. I passed out around the same time all those monsters went away, and then I woke back up and I could feel again, so maybe that's got something to do with it. And you'd throw up too if monster brains got splattered all over your shoes.

[Richie's shoes look about as scuffed and worn as they regularly do, no monster brains (or shadowy monster bits?) there.]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[Eddie looks Richie up and down for any other spots needing medical attention, then puts the ointment and remaining band-aids back in his fanny pack.]

I thought they were just there to give you something to fidget with, that teachers can't take away from you.  Is stuff supposed to look blurry even when you're wearing them? [He looks into Richie's eyes and decides they look the same.  Big and kind of pretty, not that he'd ever admit to thinking that about a boy.]  Maybe.  And no shit. I wanna puke just hearing about it. 

I should have looked for you sooner.  This lady helped me to fly over the monsters.  Real superhero shit.  Most of them monster-fied people weren't fighting.  Just watching 'cause they didn't care.

[measuringdicks]

No, they’re supposed to look clearer. And they are, when I’ve got my glasses on. [He takes them off, points at a sign further off in the distance, and says:] With these off, all I can tell is that the blob over there looks like a dick.

[There is no blob, but the sign he’s pointing at is actually for a florist’s shop: Mikayla’s Flower Shop, with a flourish on the end that looks like the bulb of a rose. To Richie, it looks like a dick. He slides his glasses back on.]

That’s fucking amazing. I would’ve gotten on the ship too, but, uh. [Yeah, he had no shits to give either, like all the other nobodies.] They didn’t fuck you up too badly, yeah?

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[Eddie tilts his head and squints, thinking the sign looks more like one of the flowers his aunts would grow.  He's not gonna say that because he knows all the jokes that would follow.  Plus, he's still worried.] 

But with them on, things look normal?   So, you're good?

Not a ship.  Flying through the air like Superman.  Or better than Superman 'cause this was flying not just a big jump.  [He shakes his head.]  Nah, they didn't get near me.  I was too high up.  The lady I was with could make fire and she burned the fuckers!